Not Dead Yet

Finish of the Carlsbad Sprint Triathlon

I know, I haven't been around lately.  I don't call, I don't write... mostly, I don't write.  Nothing nefarious afoot, I've just been busy.  I bought a house in May (two days after finishing IM St. George) and although it wasn't listed in the paperwork it came bundled with a lot of chores.  I've spent my free time just trying to keep up with the mowing, laundry, and dishes.  I haven't even made it to the big stuff like mounting the television, fixing the water line to the fridge and installing the air conditioner (I'm assuming San Diego will have a summer at some point in 2010).  It doesn't sound like a lot of work for home maintenance, but I'm trying to squeeze it between 40 hours of work, and 20 hours of triathlon training.  It's hectic, but it's workable - and things will be better this fall once the Ironman training subsides.
IM Wisconsin is less than six weeks away, meaning I have about 4 more weeks of tough training.  I just completed a badly needed rest week, today was the first day back after a ludicrously easy rest week schedule, which I still struggled with.  This morning it was 16 miles running, my longest run of the year (since I technically stopped "running" at mile 13 in St. George).  It went.... OK.  I struggled to hit my pace, but finished the run without being too beat up, and ready to tackle the remaining 16 hours of training for this week.
What has surprised me so far in my IMWI preparation is that I'm not burned out.  During the training for both of my previous IM races (and one I trained for and didn't compete in), at some point near the end I just got completely fed up.  I wanted it to be over.  I wanted to just do the race and go home (though I really didn't even want to do the race).  I wanted to go home after work and watch television.  I wanted to put more attention on my career, on my personal life, on myself.  I was doing one of the most selfish things I had ever done (train for endurance sports) and all I wanted was time to myself.  Burnout is not logical, it just sucks for no reason.
Somehow I have avoided that this time around.  All I want to do right now is train just a little bit better, and then toe the line in Wisconsin ready to kill it.  I think having a couple of disappointing performances earlier in the year helped to focus me on what I'm trying to do.
IMWI will be my last Ironman for a little while - I'm taking 2011 off from that distance.  But the plan is not retirement... it's reloading.

Running my A$& Off

As I've documented before - I am not a runner. In fact, I hate every minute I'm out there and I spend each moment thinking about how great it will be to stop. All of this means that over the last month I must have been a very unhappy athlete.
I've tracked my training pretty meticulously since I began training for triathlon (specifically on Nov. 3rd 2006). My early data is in a raw but usable spreadsheet on Google Docs, but in April 2008 I purchased a PowerTap, and switched to logging my workouts in TrainingPeaks WKO+. After having reviewed both records I can safely say that I ran more miles in December 2009 than in any month of my life.

Above is a graph of my weekly running distance over the last two years - both of which involved Ironman training. Each point on the graph represents one week of running - you'll notice that some weeks have no point on them - these are weeks where I didn't run at all (how does that happen?) and really should have points at the 0 mark.
Through November I had run more than 23 miles in a week 6 times, and 3 of those instances resulted in immediate injuries (shin splints, plantar fasciitis). Last month I ran 23 or more miles 3 weeks in a row! I can hardly believe it, especially considering I'm not injured, though certainly a little beat up! The reason for the jump is due to a number of factors, including:
- A winter focus on running, since it's clearly my weakness as a triathlete
- A re-introduction to a long run each week, thanks to my new coach
- A vacation to visit my parents for the Holidays, where biking and swimming were not possible

This is the most consistent I've been running in a long time, and that feels pretty good. I'm not running well - my form is still crap and I'm slower than my 4 year old nephew - but I am running, and that's something. This is all leading up to the Carlsbad half marathon in a few weeks, I'm hoping to do well. My PR for a half marathon was two years ago at this course, 1:53:52, or 8:41 minutes/mile. I'm not sure how fast I can go this year, but I'll be disappointed if I don't set a new PR - even if I am 25 lbs heavier now than I was when I set that time in 2008.
I still hate running, and dread every workout. I have a visceral fear of going to the track workouts each week. But I'll be damned if it's not working. With some tweaks to my diet I'm hoping to drop some weight this spring, so for now I'm literally trying to run my ass off.

2010 comes into focus

I had some free time finally to sit and work on my training plan, it's much tougher than I anticipated. When you're first starting out things are easy - you struggle just to do the bare minimum suggested training. You ignore all the "fine points" and advanced topics, and just focus on getting yourself to the start line prepared to finish the distance. I'm learning that as your expected performance increases, the amount of detailed planning required increases correspondingly.
Tonight I broke down IM St. George prep. Today was the first day of week 30, meaning I have 7 months of time to train, which should be plenty. Here is the rough breakdown of volume for that time:
Preparation:
Preparation: Weeks 30 through 25: 12 hours
Base Phase 1: Weeks 24 through 21: 16 hours
Base Phase 2: Weeks 20 through 17: 17 hours
Base Phase 3: Weeks 16 through 13: 18 hours
Build Phase 1: Weeks 12 through 9: 17 hours
Build Phase 2: Weeks 8 through 5: 16 hours
Peak Phase: Weeks 4 and 3: 12 hours
Race Phase (taper): Weeks 2 and 1: 10 hours

This is a slight increase over my volume from IMAZ in 2008, which is exactly what I want. However, it's a huge increase over the last 5 months - where I've been pretty lethargic. I'm having a hard time imagining how I'm going to fit 12 hours a week into my current schedule. I've started a new job recently, I'm addicted to the NFL (again), Curb Your Enthusiasm is back on the air, and I have an amazing girlfriend whom I'd love to not abandon. It will all work out, I'm just not sure how.
So now I know my overall volume, what's left to do? I need to:
- figure out how each weeks hours will be divided among the three disciplines (plus weights)
- figure out the intensities for each session
- identify the key workouts (Probably will include some races)
- identify my short term goal deadlines
- schedule my monthly test workouts
- somehow fit it all into my calendar

Anyway, today was the first day of my six week Prep phase. My main goal for this period is to get back into a regular routine, and to get my body ready for the wringer I'm about to put it through. This means some long/slow bike rides, working on cadence and some technique drills. It also means starting the process of re-learning to run, and building up some run endurance. I haven't run more than a few miles in months - and I'm just plain out of shape. So tomorrow morning will be a 30 minute jog, focusing on posture and using a metronome to keep my turnover high. How am I going to get 12 hours in this week when I have 0 on Monday and 0.5 on Tuesday? I don't know yet, but that's why it's a "prep" week!

No Easy Way

Tomorrow I race for the first time in 3 months, a sprint race put on by my favorite crazy people - TCSD. After taking an unplanned sabbatical from training this July, I'm finally getting back to normal. I rode the bike today. It was only 50 miles, but that puts me at 90 for the last 8 weeks - so it was a big deal. The rest of the afternoon I spent re-reading Joe Friel's books, and creating the skeleton of a training plan for the first half of 2010.
I've tried to be positive about it, but the reality is that 2009 has been complete shit as far as my racing and training. 2010 will be about consistency for me. I'm going to create a schedule and stick to it, which is a plan that worked brilliantly for me in 2007. Why I ever went away from that formula I'll never know. Training by feel just doesn't work for me when the other two pillars of my life start demanding more attention. Training with a group worked exceptionally well in 2008 - but it's hard to assemble a group like that. So it's back to structure and discipline and long lonely training days. Not glamorous, but it works.
Five hours until I need to be up, eating my pre-race oatmeal and getting the race jitters out of my spine. I don't expect to be fast. In fact, I'm a little scared about how embarrassing it's going be - I've fallen a long way. But for the first time since July 19th I'll be swimming, biking and running - and that's step 1.

I've got a BUG

I'm in sunny San Diego today, but my heart is in Madison WI. Today is my first DNF, and boy is it a doozey. Not only did I not finish, I didn't even make it to the start line - I didn't even make it onto the plane. Tomorrow is registration for the 2010 Ironman Wisconsin, and I'm going to be clicking madly to get my spot. There is one race I need to take care of before I get a second swing at WI, but make no doubt about it - I'll be in Madison next September. I plan on washing this bitter taste out of my mouth with fine Wisconsin cheese curds in the finisher's tent.
Today is a tough day for me, my mind is full of all kinds of things I could - or should - be doing. I've got BUG's galore dancing through my mind - Gordo's Big Unreasonable Goals. I've been a little complacent in my training, partly due to things out of my control, and partly due to my own selfishness. Today I start back down the lonely road that defines being an endurance athlete. Today, my eyes shift focus squarely onto May 1st 2010 - but the back of my mind will be occupied with getting back to Madison - and finishing what I start.

When is a good day a bad day?

Participated in the Carlsbad sprint triathlon this Sunday, and I'm having mixed feelings about it. First, the good stuff:
- It's a really well put on race in a beautiful city
- Lots of fans to cheer you on
- A good pro field, I've raced with Michellie Jones and Kate Major since 2007
- A flat bike course!
- A bike course that is two traffic lanes wide, making it MUCH safer with all the beginners that do sprint distance races. I'm looking at you Solana Beach triathlon - I won't be coming back until you take safety more seriously on your course.
- I beat my race time goal of 1 hour, 30 minutes!

And the bad stuff:
- I didn't do my 100 mile ride the day before the race. I've felt horrible on every run that I've done for two weeks, and woke up Saturday dehydrated and feeling awful. I took a Saturday off for the first time in what feels like 3 years.
- My pre-race jog didn't go well. I did one mile, and was dripping with sweat afterward. For some reason my sweat-rate has gone through the roof lately. I can't keep hydrated and I'm seeing spots/getting dizzy after less than 5 miles of running.
- I poked a hole in my wetsuit trying to pull it on over my sweat-drenched skin. Luckily the fantastic service at De Soto fixed it within hours.

So how'd the race go? Confusing. I started in the first wave, along with the Elite males and females. You kind of get intimidated when the woman in front of you at the starting line has finished in the top 10 in Kona 5 times. The swim was a little rough, I got punched in the goggles at the beginning, and several times had the guy swimming next to me run into me because he couldn't swim straight. There was a lot of kelp in the ocean, which was gross but didn't really slow us down much. I got clear of the main group, and had clear water for most of the swim. I could see the fast group in front of me (waaay in front of me) but nobody else - I wasn't able to draft at all. I hit the shore and glanced at my watch, I had done almost exactly what I had thought, around 15 minutes. I had forgotten to put my bike in an easy gear for the steep hill out of the bike transition, but it worked out for me OK. The guy in front of me wasn't so lucky and tumbled over as he tried to climb a 12% grade from a dead stop while in the big chainring. The bike course was fun. Being in the first wave I knew everyone I passed was a legit pass - and the same was true for anyone passing me. I did get passed by a few people, which I don't enjoy, but I let them go and instead focused on keeping my power at 200 to 250 watts. I had quite a bit of saddle pain during the race which is weird for a 15 mile ride, and after the race I was chaffed pretty badly. I only drank half a bottle of Accelerade (12 oz.) during the bike which was a little light, but not too bad. I couldn't choke any more down because I was breathing hard, and swallowing just made me breathe harder and my heart rate spike. Off the bike and into running shoes, then the race took a turn for the worse. The run begins by going along the beach seawall. I tried to focus on form and foot turnover, but it was a bit of a struggle. After about 1km you run up a very short steep hill to get from ocean level to street level, and that's when I decided I had nothing left. I never recovered and felt like I limped the rest of the way around the run. I couldn't even muster a sprint in the finish chute with all my TCSD friends cheering me on - it was pretty embarrassing. After crossing I nearly fell over as my vision narrowed and I got very dizzy. I had to find a chair quickly and took some rest. Things got better quickly, but how does a 3 mile run do this to me? How am I ever going to run 26 miles in September?!

Another great thing about Carlsbad is that I've done it every year since I started training, so it's a good way to check my progress. Take a look at how I've done:

YEAR	AG PLACE	OVERALL	SWIM	T1	BIKE	T2	RUN	FINISH
2007	32/88	269	18:23	?	47:44	?	26:24	1:32:31
2008	40/89	309	19:35	02:59	47:16	01:19	25:10	1:36:19
2009	24/93	180	14:54	02:08	43:36	01:46	24:28	1:26:52

Not bad! I met my goal of under 90 minutes, and I've improved greatly. If you compare 2009 to 2008 then I made up 04:41 on the swim! I also gained 1 minute in T1 - this is because I swam with my tri-top on in 2009 instead of trying to put a dry shirt on like I did the previous year. I also skipped putting on my heart rate strap this year. T2 I lost 30 seconds, probably because I had to tie my shoes this year - definitely need speed laces for these short races. I improved by 03:40 on the bike in 2009, but this is misleading. In 2008 I had to stop and get off my bike when the saddle bag fell off - so I think I'm about the same speed as I was last year. On the run, I improved by 42 seconds - but I don't believe this number. I ran really poorly this weekend, my guess is that they're measuring from a different spot this year.
My friend Rachel mentioned to me (and to my shock she is correct) that I'm a swimmer! In terms of how I do versus my peers, I'm a better swimmer than a cyclist! I'm not sure how I feel about that. I know I'm not the cyclist I want to be - but the reality is that I'm good enough that if I want to continue being a triathlete then I'm better off working on running.
So when is a good day a bad day? When you PR a course, beat your pre-race expectations, and still feel like you're nowhere near ready for your next event.

More racing - and SDIT recap

This weekend will mark my third time racing the Carlsbad Triathlon, which is my favorite local sprint race. I had some mechanical issues on the bike last year (again) which caused me to have to get off of the bike and re-adjust my seat. Combine that with my desire to completely hammer this bike course, and I should see some improvement in my T1-to-T2 time. Of course, I do plan to taper for this race by riding a 100 miles the day before - so maybe I won't have the best racing legs when I toe the line Sunday morning.

Last weekend was SDIT, which I really don't like - but will probably continue to do because it's one of the few local non-sprint races. I felt really bad on the bike, and didn't really attack on any of the hills. That was disappointing because this is my home turf - I know the course very well. Despite desire to vomit, I kept my speed relatively high and had a very respectable bike split. The run did not go well. I was no longer able to stave off vomiting, and I marked mile marker #2 with my breakfast. I tried to run properly, but I was suffering from nausea and breathing cramps. A friend of mine who passed me at mile 3 said I was "running with heavy feet" - which is my normal style, but something I need to fix. Somewhere around mile 4 KT came and ran with me, she was very kind saying things like "you look strong" and "you're pace is great". Despite the fact that those were overly kind exaggerations, I appreciated the help. Technically you're not allowed to be paced by someone outside the race - I even got a friendly "hey - no fair being paced by a hot girl!" comment - but I don't think anyone would object to a middle of the pack athlete running with someone for a half mile.
Below is the overview of my stats within the 30-34 Male age group the last two years at SDIT. I improved in 2009, but not as much as I should have. It's a grim reminder that I'm not in Ironman shape, and IMWI is right around the corner.

YEAR	PLACE	SWIM RANK	SWIM	BIKE RANK	BIKE	RUN RANK	RUN	FINISH
2008	51/100	40	0:15:32	23	0:50:49	77	0:54:31	2:05:12
2009	40/101	21	0:14:29	21	0:50:43	59	0:52:25	2:02:29

I followed up the race with some of my worst workouts ever. My week was something like this:
- Sunday: SDIT swim OK, bike tough but OK, run miserable and slow
- Monday: Day off - went drinking with old co-workers from Chicago
- Tuesday: Run at track - ran my best 1 mile TT ever, 6:47. Rest of workout mediocre
- Wednesday: Swim went poorly, found out I'm back to dropping my elbows!
- Thursday: Trail run. Had to cut the planned 10 mile route short to 8, because I felt like death. Started to feel dehydrated.
- Friday: 1 mile ocean swim, goggles leaked and nearly blinded myself with saltwater.
- Saturday: 8 hour, 92 mile ride. That's 11.5 MPH. Ouch.
- Sunday: Long run. Oops, turned into a 60 minute, 6 mile sufferfest.

I'm running like crap right now, even by my own usually pathetic standards. I'm not going to let this continue, and I've told myself "no more bad workouts". If I feel too beat to do a workout, I'm just skipping it. During the workout, I'm going to do it properly - when/if I cannot do it properly, I'm cutting it short. Perfect practice makes perfect, and all that.
My plan of attack for the running is:
- buy new shoes. Not really going to make me faster, but I need them anyway.
- brick off of every bike ride, at least for a few miles
- run with (closer to) proper form, even if that means shorter distances.
- run with more structure. No more "go run x miles" workouts, I need to have some purpose to each run.
- continue trail running. The uneven steps help me to decouple my breathing from my stride
- continue running on the track once a week. I run with much better form when on the track, need to figure out how to transfer that over. Plus we do good drills there.

Locked and Loaded

I'm ready to race! It's been 8 weeks since Wildflower, and I'm getting anxious to race again. Ironman training has meant less races per season (but more miles per race!) for me. This weekend is the San Diego International Triathlon which I will be doing for the second time. It's not an 'A' race for me, but I'd still like to do well. I know my base fitness isn't where it should be, but for a short distance like this I should be able to push it a bit. Last year SDIT was my first race with the new bike (well... first race without mechanical trouble) and I was shocked at how fast I went from T1 to T2.

CATEGORY	PLACE	O'ALL	SWIM RANK	SWIM	T1	BIKE RANK	BIKE	T2	RUN RANK	RUN	FINISH
MALE 30-34	51	315	300	0:15:32	0:02:55	129	0:50:49	0:01:25	541	0:54:31	2:05:12

Last year I lost my swim cap a few minutes before the start - I got in the water to warm up, and somehow I dropped it into the Bay. I ran to the registration table in my wetsuit and stole a new one out of the box, and sprinted back to the start line. My wave had already moved out into the water for the floating start, I arrived there just before the gun, panting frantically. I had a good swim, though it got tight at the buoys and I was beaten up a bit. According to the final results I did a 01:33 per 100m pace for the race (15:32 for 1000m) - but that's not right. I think the course is considerably shorter than 1000m, since 1:33 pace is about as fast as I can do a single 100m sprint. Out of the water and onto the bike with a 2:55 transition time. Wow! That's a pretty fast T1 for me. I expect to go slower than that this year, at SDIT last year I swam with my Tri jersey under my wetsuit. I decided not to do that anymore because the water dripped into my shoes and made the ride and run very unpleasant. Plus, the shirt never dried out - I was wet the whole way.
The bike portion really went well for me. I felt good, but I also pushed hard. This was my hometown race, with the bike course going past my bike shop (Moment Cycle) and I wanted it to be a good one. I averaged 22 MPH, but I don't remember much of it - though the 90 degree turn on the way back into town is in the back of my mind still. Another blazing transition in T2, 1 minute 25 seconds! Probably won't do that this year either - I've got laces on my shoes this time. I know, it's not very "Tri" of me. I purchased Yankz laces for the shoes, but never got around to installing them - and the shoes are about to be replaced anyway.

The run portion hurt. A lot. I left it all out on the bike course, and suffered through the run with a 9:15 min/mile pace and a 54 minute 10K. I'm hoping to improve on this, though I'm not running well right now so it will be a struggle. I'd love to be close to 50 minutes - we'll have to see how it goes.
I'm prepping for the race by doing the monthly TCSD Aquathon (Presented by Kashi!). It's approximately 1000m swim, followed by approximately 3 miles of beach running. I do the swim sans wetsuit, which slows me down quite a bit. However, since I also run barefoot in the sand, my transition time is zero! I'm not exactly in contention for winning, but the Aquathon is absolutely my most favoritest race - and we do it every month during the summer!
Racing is fun, and this one is looking to be fully loaded with merriment. I'm racing in my beautiful hometown, on a bike course I ride with Moment twice a week, with lots of friends, support from the spectacular TCSD, and my unbelievably patient girlfriend waiting for me at the finish.

If you need me...

... this is where to find me for the next couple of hours:


Update: It hurt.

Exhausted in Paradise

My arms hurt, and my whole body is aching. With the MLK Jr. holiday this was a 3 day weekend for me, and I spent it doing a moderate amount of training. Nothing crazy like last fall's Ironman prep weekends - but enough that I am completely worn out today. The weather in San Diego has been amazing, and all weekend we enjoyed 75 degree weather with clear skies - it was beautiful! I am blessed to be able to live here, and I smile every time I think about it.
Saturday started with a nice trip through Elfin Forest with my friends Brent and Lorenzo - and the SDBC. Yep, you read correctly - I've been slumming around in the roadie peleton. Coach asked me to participate in the Camp Pendleton Bulldog Bike Race in February, and I took that as an opportunity to convert my road bike back to a normal configuration. It was painful to watch the aerobars come off, but I have a tri bike now and they were no longer necessary.

Here is a shot of my road bike, sans aerobars

So saturday's 40 mile rush around san diego was typical roadie fare - lots of posturing at stoplights followed by all out sprints, pacelines in the safe areas, and lots of drafting. 26MPH never felt so easy! Also, to my surprise, a lot of machismo. There were two women in our group, both of whom were very strong cyclists. Some of the men really were a-holes to these ladies. Whenever they moved to the front of the pack, someone immediatly jumped in front of them and shot off the lead, turning the whole thing into a giant pissing contest. I was reminded of why I stopped riding in packs - a few people acting like a-holes taints the whole group, and makes things dangerous. But despite all of that, riding a road bike again was beautiful. It was like driving a Cadillac compared to my tri bike - smooth and comfortable, and it felt like home.


Despite Saturdays ride being a short one, it was pretty intense. When I woke up Sunday to do my long run, I wasn't feeling so good. I was sunburned from the previous day (who wears sunscreen in January?) and my mouth was dry. I made sure to carry lots of water on the run, I knew it would be rough. I headed out into the gorgeous southern California morning, past the surreal Mormon Temple and down the Rose Canyon bike path. I was using my new Suunto footpod (I'll write about that sometime) and tracking my pace pretty closely - it wasn't very good. I was drinking a lot on the way out, I could tell I wasn't hydrated properly. Most of the 8 mile run was a suffer-fest, though I did run into my buddy JT at the turn around. He was riding his bike back to Point Loma, and stopped to say hi. It was nice to see a familiar face, though I'm still not used to running into people I know out in public - I don't know that many people. I spent the rest of the day Saturday on the couch drinking water. I had a nasty headache, and a little bit of dizziness whenever I stood up too quickly. I was pissed that I still hadn't figured out my hydration problems.

Monday I met up with Michelle and her crew (Steve, Penny, Solene, Mark, and Monica) for a MLK day ride. Once again the weather was perfect, and we enjoyed ourselves immensely. The word for the day was "hills". Steve won the polka dot jersey hands down - he crushed it up Scripps Poway and then continued his tear the rest of the day. The Green jersey went to Solene for her second half effort. While the rest of us were exhausted from all the climbing, she pulled the entire group into a headwind from miles 50 to 55 at a pace of 27 MPH! What a badass. Thanks everyone for the ride, it was loads of fun. I once again hit the couch after the ride to nap and catch up on my hydration (and Battlestar Gallactica). By 7pm it was time to head to the pool for what I had hoped would be a recovery swim. It wasn't. Coach R had us do a total of 2500 meters, with lots of sprinting - which is why my arms feel like jello today. We capped off the weekend with a late dinner at Whole Foods, where we met Alyssa - the craziest old lady I've ever run into. Don, Chad, Diana - you can back me up on that one, right? She had lots of advice for us about politics, the economy, etymology, and of course romance. It was actually pretty fun, if not insanely awkward. With my body destroyed and my belly full, I slept like a baby. What a great weekend.
So things are good, training is going OK, and the future is bright. If only I didn't have to go to the office now...

Ankle Update

I went to the doctor this week, the news is mixed. The x-rays were negative, which is good - no stress fracture. It's a tendon issue, probably either a tear or an irritation. That's the bad news, since tendon issues are a little tougher to fix than broken bones. The likely culprits are the Peroneus Longus and Peroneus Brevis tendons, which are on the outside of your ankle. The doctor prescribed physical therapy, possible steroid injections, and of course a few weeks off from running. Naturally, I left his office and went straight for the Tuesday night Mission Beach Jetty boardwalk run.
The way I see it is that this injury is minor, I can bear it for anything but trail running. It's also not going to cause permanent damage if I keep running, all that will happen is that it gets more painful - and I have a decent tolerance for that. Plus, rest is for the "off season" - of which I have none. We'll see how it goes, I'm guessing I'll do fine until the trails at Wildflower in May - at which point my season may be over.
So I have a lot of limping ahead of me, at least now I'll have an excuse for my pathetic run times!

Elbow Viagra

Ugh. I made it to the pool last night for the first time in 3 weeks. Forget everything I have ever mentioned about swim technique - don't listen to me because I obviously don't know what I am doing. Everything went to shit pretty much from the start, I even cut the 400m warm-up short. Coach C told me immediately that I wasn't following through with my stroke, which is a problem I had been working on before Christmas.
I swam in a slow lane, so at least I kept my heart rate down, but my technique was awful. Every movement felt forced and awkward, every breath was half filled with water. I was dragging my feet, lifting my head out of the water, and kicking like a pansy. I knew all of this just from feel - but then Coach M caught me at the wall. He told me that my old nemesis - which I thought I had vanquished - was back with a vengeance. He called it "bent elbow", but I remember what Sickie had diagnosed it as - "limp elbow". I prefer to call it Olecranan Dysfunction in polite company.
Crap. How did that sneak back in to my stroke? I need to start over, break my stroke back down and re-build it. again. crap.
As I splashed around inefficiently in the pool, I realized that I am suffering from Ironman-itis as well. I have an insane level of endurance right now - a 2 hour swim is no big deal. My cardio system is stronger than it's ever been. But all the supporting systems are breaking down and rusty. My technique is poor (on the bike as well). My back aches. My knees hurt. My neck is sore. My saddle area (a.k.a. groinal crotchal region) can't handle long stints on the bike. My heart and lungs have stayed strong - but my winter inactivity has deteriorated everything else.
I'm calling the doctor about my ankle issue, getting Coach C to help me with my embarrassing limp elbow issue, and for IM-itis the only treatment is a long season of training - which luckily I've already prescribed myself.

Back to Normal

Finally feeling normal again after all my recent craziness. I got back on the bike saturday and did a miserable 50 miles in the rain. It took 4 hours. We were cold and wet and our brakes didn't work, but I had good company which made it much more bearable (thanks Sara!). I still haven't cleaned the bike up - it's completely coated with sand. I'm pretty sure sand is not a preferred drive train lubricant. The bike cleaning is on my todo list (really, I created one using Google Mail Tasks) along with about 15 million other things. Including "go to the doctor".
Unfortunately my rest period during the holidays did not work. I ran 8 miles Sunday, and my ankle still hurts - maybe worse than ever. I think it is sprained, but I'm not sure. I can swim without pain (as long as I don't kick), and can ride the bike for short distances without pain. Running on hard surfaces isn't painful during the exercise, but afterwards the ankle is sore. Running on uneven surfaces I cannot do at all - excruciating pain that stops me from continuing.
I ran Ironman Arizona on this injury, so I can deal with the pain OK on flat surfaces. I am confident I can do the California 70.3 on it. But Wildflower is right around the corner, and there is absolutely no way I can run that course on this ankle. There is a zero percent chance of me missing WF. It's not an "A" race, so I don't need to go fast - but I'll finish that thing on crutches if I need to. So that means a trip to the doctor, and a prayer for news other than "stop doing that".

Decision made

I had planned on doing the short course at WF, but I just confirmed my registration for the 2009 Wildflower Long Course on May 2nd. Along with Ironman California 70.3 on April 4th, that makes two half Ironman races in a month. I did both of these races in 2008 (with a century ride and the LJ half marathon in between) with poor results at WF. I got sick and ended up doing the race with the flu, plus I had mechanical issues on the bike course.
This year, for the first time, Wildflower will not be an 'A' race for me. My friends NS and SP won't be there, and I'm really going to treat it as a working vacation. I might even stay in the campgrounds - but no promises there. I'm not sure what kind of results to expect. Last year I had the flu, but the weather was unusually cool and pleasant. Normally WF is out of this world hot, which is bad news for Mr. Dehydration over here. This year I'll be healthy and my bike will hopefully have more than one gear. We'll see how it goes!

Sophomore Slump

I'm suffering from a mild case of Sophomore-itis. My second Ironman race is looking like it will be much different than my first one. I spent the previous 14 months training hard for my first Ironman, and I was focused on that goal like a laser. It was easy to stay on target for IM, I was scared shitless of race day. I worried about the unending pain, the heat of the Arizona desert, running my first marathon, and my history of dehydration. My confidence in my physical ability increased throughout the training, but even on race morning I knew there was a good chance I would end up in the medical tent with an IV in my arm, and a DNF on my record. Fear kept me going strong for 14 months - it's one hell of a motivator.

Today is the start of my second week back to training. It's been easy stuff so far, short easy runs, test sets in the pool, and a single ridiculously short bike ride on saturday. But somewhere along the way I lost my fear, and my motivation has waned. I still have goals, but I noticed that the nature of my goals has fundamentally changed. My goals have always been about proving to myself that I could complete something. Can I swim across La Jolla Cove? Can I climb a mountain? Can I complete a half marathon without walking? Can I ride my bike 100 miles? 200 miles? I always tried to be as fast as I could at everything I attempted, but that was never my focus. I was trying to prove that I could do it, not that I was fast at it. I'm not a world class athlete, and the idea that there are lots of people faster than me is easy to accept. I have never thought of myself as a competitive person - though I have some friends who might disagree!

2009's goals are a little different. They're less about completing events, and more about performing well in them. This is a radically different mindset than I am used to. It requires a more aggressive race strategy, and also more risky. My old "just complete the race" mindset caused me to think of a DNF as the worst possible thing that could ever happen. This idea leads to a very conservative race plan - save your energy in case you need it later. Of course I ended up tired at the end of races, but normally I felt fine a few hours later - or certainly by the next morning. This mindset also lead me to the most dangerous situation I've had during my triathlon career - I refused to quit on a 14 hour bike ride in the 120 degree California desert. Even after my legs cramped so badly that they could no longer support my body weight, I kept going. I eventually did call it quits that day - but I had passed the threshold of sensibility long before that point, and it very easily could have ended badly. With a performance based mindset however, things are much different. I need to "leave it all on the course", and I probably will take much longer to recover after a race than before. I also need to be ready for my first DNF in a race. If I'm racing on the red line, then my likelihood of misjudging is greater, and my margin for error is smaller. Is going faster worth risking a DNF? This is the year I find out.

So here I am, 1 week into a 10 month season - and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I don't want to do anything, I'm going through the motions like a zombie. My workouts are easy, but I'm not doing them very well - even a 5 mile run hurts. I certainly don't feel like an Ironman. I've lost my appetite completely, and I'm only eating because I know that I need to in order to fuel my workouts. I went from training 20 hours a week a month ago, to only 7 hours this week - and all the spare time I have is boring me to tears. I started watching TV again, that evil succubus. I watched an entire season of Dexter this week. Spoiler alert: he's a serial killer and he spends the whole season killing people. Why did I waste my time on that?! God help me if I get sucked into watching the NFL again.

Here's hoping the fear returns. Maybe I'll find something new to be afraid of. Maybe the crazy weather and insane hills of Wisconsin will be enough to get my fire burning again. Maybe the idea of failure will drive me to the next peak. Maybe the threat of disappointing my coach and training partners will fuel me to excel. Or maybe I won't need fear at all? Maybe I'll find inspiration instead. I don't know what it is that will get me through my next 140.6 mile event - but the smart money is on me achieving what I set out to do. I don't like to lose.

Triathlon Checklist

I've only been doing this sport for two seasons, but I feel like it's all old hat for me. I forgot how confusing and intimidating a newbie's first race can be. So I figured I'd write something for the less experienced, or someone preparing for their first triathlon.
The most useful thing I've ever done to prepare for my races has been to create a checklist. Triathlon is a simple sport on paper - swim, bike, run, visit the beer garden. In reality, there's lots of equipment and "stuff" to prepare. The night before a race I lay out everything I am going to need on the floor, and then pack it into my bag in a way that will be useful once I make it to the venue. But what goes in?
I know elite athletes in many sports practice visualization as a means to improve performance. I've never really believed in that - then again I've never been an elite athlete! But I do think that visualizing your race, walking through it in your mind, will help you identify what to pack into your bag. So what I do is mentally walk through race day. Below is the narrative that might go through my head:
I need to wake up (usually at some ungodly hour) on race day. So I set my alarm clock, and sometimes a backup. Once I'm up I'll need to fuel for my race. So I set up breakfast. I usually eat oatmeal and fruit so my prep really just means making sure I have the food I want and that there are some clean dishes. Little stresses like having to wash a dish can turn race morning into a more hectic experience than it needs to be. Next, I need to get dressed. I normally wear my swim shorts under street clothes, my running shoes, and something to keep warm. Sometimes on race day breakfast and your starting gun are many hours apart - if so make sure you bring a snack. When I get to the race venue, I head to transition. I go to body marking and have my number written on arm, then set up my transition area. I put on my wetsuit, making sure to avoid chaffing by applying body glide first, and head to the start line. I'm standing on the start line with 20 to 2000 close friends. I'm wearing my swim cap (from your checkin packet) and goggles. I am in my wetsuit, with my timing chip attached to my ankle. The cannon goes off - I hit GO on my wristwatch, good thing I remembered to wear it. Alright, I'm out of the water and I strip the wetsuit off on my way into T1. There I wash the sand off my feet with a water bottle and dry them a little on my towel. It's on with the socks, bike shoes, jersey (I don't swim in mine), race belt, sunglasses and helmet. Grab the bike, run out of transition and start pedaling. It's freaking hot out here, glad I put on my sunscreen this morning (or maybe in T1). And I'm thirsty, good thing I've got my water bottles in the bike cages and filled with drinks. I also might need salt tabs or gu or some other nutrition, luckily that's already in my jersey pockets. Still pedaling. Man this is taking forever, how far till the turnaround? I was smart enough to reset my bike computers mileage before the race, so I know exactly where I am at. Finally done cycling, dash into T2. Rack the bike, off with the helmet, sunglasses and bike shoes. On with the running shoes and running hat. I head out onto the run course - nutrition and salt tabs still in my pockets - and haul ass. Cross the finish, collect a medal, enjoy the post-race festivities. Head back to transition to collect my equipment - and maybe change into a clean dry outfit.

Did you catch all the crap I need to bring? It's a lot. Luckily forgetting something isn't usually the end of the world - but forget just the wrong item and you could be screwed. Here's the full list, which is pretty much what I use for local sprint distance races:

• swim/tri shorts
• pre-race street clothes
• running shoes
• timing chip and strap
• jacket
• pre-race snack and/or waterbottle
• swim cap
• goggles
• body glide
  
• wetsuit
• wristwatch
• T1 water bottle
• Transition towel
• socks
• bike shoes
• bike/tri jersey
• race belt with race number attached
  
• sunglasses
• helmet
• bicycle
  
• sunscreen
• drinks for bike
• salt tabs - maybe not for a sprint race
• Gu or other food
• running hat
• clean clothes for after race
• Drivers license / ID
• cell phone
• cash
  

Of course this doesn't cover everything - just the gear I take with me on race day. I always have equipment in the saddle bag on my bike which I didn't list - including spare innertubes, CO2 cartridges, tire levers and a multi-tool. I also create a race morning "todo" list - with tasks like pump up bike tires and lube the chain before I load it into the car, reset the bike computer, apply sunscreen, or chamois butter. I also have different checklists with more items which are for out of town races, or races of different lengths. But having these lists, and updating them as I make changes to my routine or discover missing items, has made my race mornings much less stressful. I hope this helps someone in preparing for their next race, and if I missed anything you think is important then let me know!

Triathlon as an Expression of Free Will

Why do we do the things we do? Our hobbies, our beliefs, our occupations? Far too often the answer is a lamentable "convenience". For me, I fall into this convenience pattern for long stretches - then snap myself out of it with radical, grand gestures.
I am a professional software engineer. That came easy for me because I was good at math, and I enjoyed computers. So I got an engineering degree, studied computer science and started working. It was the path of least resistance, I just did what came naturally to me. I moved to Chicago because that's where the jobs were, it all just made sense. I don't mean to say that any of that was easy - my undergraduate degree was the toughest thing I've ever done, it made Ironman look like a game of paddy cake. And moving away from everyone I knew was tough, as was living on my own and being broke. Don't get me wrong - I love writing software, and embedded systems is my passion. I found the right career for me, no doubt. But I got there by taking the easy path - by using my god given strengths.
I had been an athlete as a kid. I focused on basketball early on, and though I was short I did OK. I played at the high school level and then very briefly in college. I was 18 and learned quickly that I did not have the talent to play at that level, and the amount of work I needed to put in to compete would have destroyed my grades. So I quit basketball during the fall of my freshman year, which would end up being the most heart wrenching breakup I have ever suffered. That day I stopped being an athlete, and became an engineer. It was a good career choice, I have a low VO2max and a high capacity for technical learning. I started drinking soda, I started eating pizza and fast food, I started watching TV, I started living like an engineer.
I took all of these habits with me when I got my first apartment and started working. I had blossomed up to 190 pounds or so when I graduated college, from the 165 of my basketball days. It was no big deal to me, I didn't feel fat and I was now more of a thinker than a laborer. That first year in Chicago I was broke and working long hours, so I ate out at lunch and my dinner was always something easy. Mac and Cheese or frozen pizza. I would sometimes eat a family size Jello pudding box as a treat. Eventually I had disposable income, and in came the luxuries. I bought a lazy-boy recliner and an overstuffed couch, holy crap do I love those. I bought a large screen TV, and subscribed to the NFL Sunday Ticket - and spent every Sunday watching 10+ hours of football, to the point where it gave me headaches. I was exhausted without ever leaving my couch. I bought a Tivo the first day it was on the market (at the early adopter price of only $750!) and instantly fell in love. This new toy allowed me to not just watch TV, but to watch everything on TV. And I did. To paraphrase Dean Karnazes "I was so comfortable I was miserable".
Eventually I moved in with an old college buddy of mine. I don't remember why, but we started working out together - mostly jogging. We were never very consistent, and I hated every minute of it - so eventually I bought a bike. A mountain bike, to ride on the pavement in Chicago - brilliant. I rode it on a 12 mile loop in a nearby park pretty regularly (until the snow got deeper than a few inches) and even to work a few times. Eventually I stopped riding. I moved to California with a new job, and started working harder than ever, which returned me to my slovenly ways.
Then in June of 2006 I got the dust off my mountain bike and rode it to work. I don't remember why - I probably saw someone riding on the road as I was driving to work one day, or maybe it was high gas prices. I weighed 210 pounds that day. The seven miles from my apartment to work felt like a million. But it was great - I bragged about my epic ride to all my co-workers. I started riding to work regularly for the next month, almost every day. There's something magical and deeply rewarding about being a bike commuter - I recommend it to everyone. Then, it happened. A college friend who also had moved to San Diego recommended I get a road bike. He told me those knobby tires were slowing me down, and I needed to upgrade. So I started looking, and like most first time bicycle purchasers I was shocked at the prices! What happened to getting a $100 bike at Wal-Mart? I bought a medium end road bike for twice what I originally wanted to spend - and began riding it both to work and with a local bike club on Saturdays. I fell in love - head over heals with cycling. As an engineer I liked the practical brilliance of a bike - the sheer efficiency of it all - the precision of the components. But there was more, something visceral about riding a bike. Everything looks different when you're traveling by self locomotion. I started to think of my body as a machine that turns food into rotational motion, and my bike as a machine that turns rotational motion into translational motion. That lead me to eat a little better. And each week I got a little faster on those club rides.
I talked about cycling with everyone who would listen. My good friends NS and SP suggested that I do a triathlon. Me? A triathlon? I had seen Ironman on TV - triathlon was serious. Plus, I hate the water. I'm scared of the ocean, and I hadn't been in a swimming pool in 20 years - and I was only 28 years old.
So I thought about it. I couldn't swim. I liked to cycle, but was far from being competitive. I couldn't run a mile without wheezing - and I cursed every step along the way. As a geek at heart I have always admired NASA and the Apollo moon missions. I thought back to a speech John F. Kennedy gave that launched the space program in 1962:

"We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy - but because they are hard! Because that challenge is one we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone and one we intend to win!"

I had no ability - no talent as a triathlete. And that thought clinched it. I chose to become a triathlete not because it was easy - but because it was hard. It was ludicrous. I signed up for Wildflower and didn't tell anyone other than NS and SP - because it was so ridiculous an idea that everyone would laugh at me. And I secretly thought I wouldn't be able to do it. I had moved cities three times since the last time I did anything athletic. None of my current friends would have believed that I was training for a triathlon. Even NS and SP whom I had known for over 10 years had never imagined me as an athlete, and were shocked when I told them I had played basketball.
I learned to swim. I became a cyclist. I survived my running. I raced Wildflower and kicked ass. I discovered ocean swimming. I lost 40 pounds. I became an Ironman. I lived one more piece of my dream.

That's why I race. Because my life is my own. To prove I'm not bound by the restrictions and stereotypes of my career. That I choose the person I will be tomorrow. To push myself beyond the limits I once believed I had. To prove that I can do anything I choose. That I don't fit in a box.

Go ahead, try to box me in. I dare you.

New Year's Eve

Tomorrow starts my training for the 2009 season. I'm excited and hopeful, but also a little nervous. I have high hopes for this season - I'm not ready to articulate them right now, but it's significantly more ambitious than last season.
A bit of a postmortem on my triathlon life in 2008:

• I PR'd at the half marathon distance. Not hard to do since I can't run at all!
• I did a century bike ride with 20-30 MPH headwinds for the first 50 miles. I'm pretty sure every roadie in SD was on my wheel the whole way out - freakin' drafters. I went on a pub crawl that afternoon.
  
• I completed my first 70.3 distance triathlon
• I purchased a beautiful new racing bike, pushing my retirement out to age 75
  
• I completed my second 70.3 race six weeks after the first, with the flu. The Wildflower course is hellacious!
  
• For the first time I ran a hot weather race without getting dizzy or headachey from dehydration
• I completed a 3 mile ocean swim. Dehydration insued
  
• I did two epic bike rides of 140+ miles
• I failed to complete a event for the first time. Severe dehydration beat me on this one, but I'm already planning my revenge on the California desert
• I completed the "Triple Crown" of San Diego half marathons - Carlsbad, La Jolla, AFC
  
• I rode myself into the ground on a hot day so badly that the next morning I passed out and cut my head open banging it into a wall
• I rode 100+ miles every saturday for eight weeks straight
  
• I became an Ironman, and did it faster than I thought I would

But that was 2008, and it's behind me now. Last season I found the confidence I needed to do serious endurance events, and the experience I needed to complete them. This season I will be doing big things. No more of this "I just hope I finish" BS - this year I'm racing. This year I'm focused on fixing the things I do badly, and honing the things I do well. Tops on the "fixing" list are:

1. Running better. Good lord do I need help here, I'm sure there's more to come on this topic.
2. Training and race day nutrition/hydration. I did OK at Ironman Arizona in this area, it felt pretty good. The previous 14 months however were a disaster, and I nearly put myself in the hospital four times.
3. Everyday nutrition. I'm overweight. People give me shit when I say this - I'm 6' tall and weigh 180 pounds, which by many people's standards is a normal weight. I don't give a damn about body image or any of that crap - I'm trying to go fast. That means maximizing my power to weight ratio. To do that I need to get my Body Mass Index down - which means no more crappy food.

The "honing" list consists of:

1. Maintaining my swim progress. I made a breakthrough this season, and my swimming has come a long way. I still have serious problems with my stroke, but I'm starting to understand this sport better now.
2. Cycling. I f'in love it. I am a worse cyclist now than I was a year ago (had to sacrifice to learn to swim and run) but I'm still a Cat 4, and I'd like to improve upon my IMAZ performance.

So that's it, my 2009 in a nutshell. I proved in 2008 that I can't handle anything outside of work and training, so I'm going to stick with that formula for 2009. Wish me luck!

Getting back to work

Back in the pool tonight 8 days after racing Ironman Arizona. I had tentatively planned on taking 4 weeks off - all the way until January, but I'm getting seriously restless already. I felt sluggish and tired in the pool tonight - and I was slow, 10 seconds slower per 100 meters than before the race. Ouch. I'm going to take a few more days off and get back at it on Thursday, which is 4 months out from my next race. This season I have a coach, who's a real cool guy - and I'm super excited to work with him. He's going to try to teach me to be a runner. He doesn't know how gigantic a task he has! Crap do I hate running. I suck at it, and hate it, and I'm pretty sure it hates me. Maybe we can change some of that during this year. There are some other aspects of this season I'm not super excited about, but I'm hopeful that stuff will work itself out. It shouldn't be a big deal - but I have a talent for magnifying problems. I'm going to put my faith in the idea that if you surround yourself with good people, good things will come. I've certainly done the former, I have the best friends on the planet, and I'm very careful about whom I associate myself with.

Baby steps

I see a lot of blogs documenting people's road to Ironman. They tend to be lists of workouts, inspirational quotes, and culminate in the author achieving their goal of completing the Ironman race, a photo of their new M-Dot tattoo, and then nothing. I'm starting backwards. I just completed my first Ironman, and am going to be blogging about nothing in particular. There will probably be a lot of workout related posts - I've been completely obsessed with triathlon for two years, and especially since I started training for the Ironman. It's really been the only thing on my mind for the last 14 months, so I'm sure I'll write about it eventually. But I've had a lot of free time lately for a change - 3 weeks of taper before the race, and now some recovery afterwards - and I guess I'm getting bored.
I'll probably write about other random things as well - I'm a true geek and I love writing software. I'll try to keep the geek stuff to a minimum, but no promises. This will probably be a winding road, hope someone finds it entertaining :)